Know Your Worth

We’ve all sensed someone who’s extremely cocky and we all know someone who’s confident and still carries him/herself with grace. While the former can annoy us at times, the latter has admirable qualities we all desire.

What’s the difference between being cocky and confident? Can you still be humble while being confident? Now I can confidently (no pun intended) say yes because I have experienced the whole spectrum of confidence, pride, and being humbled. In order to know your worth, I do believe you have to go through that. God wants for us to be confident in Him, and by being confident in HIM and not OURSELVES we are confidently humble/humbly confident. (same thing..?)

The minute we start to depend on ourselves, that’s when we start to let our old sense of pride/cockiness take over. And that’s my struggle of the moment. I absolutely hate admitting that I can be sort of prideful. Pride is one of the deadliest sins if we don’t give it up to Him. While I’m not always the most confident person in the room (as in placing my confidence in Jesus), I can be somewhat cocky (as in placing my confidence in my own abilities). Yes I’ve been humbled by Jesus many times. He’s spoken to me on a number of occasions telling me to go to Him before anyone else.

Do I always listen? Heck no. To stop taking the reins and pulling Him as He sits shot-gun and I make a million decisions on my own is a gradual process. Have I gotten a bit better at hearing His voice? Most definitely. And baby steps is basically my (Christian walk) motto lolllll.

While we should know our worth, our worth shouldn’t be put in the things we do. It should be placed in Him and Him only. I’ve never come to terms with that completely because of my pride. I’ve never completely let go of my pride…there were moments when I came close when He humbled me and stripped me of everything. And those were some of the most challenging times of my life. But I will say I have the faith that one day He will challenge me again to let go more of it.

Pride can cause us to turn a blind eye to those in need because we think we’re above them. Pride can make us depend on ourselves and go in the path of fools. Pride can also connect us to others who struggle with being prideful too. While it seems like it’s all negative (well mostly it is), it’s a sin that’s somehow allowed me to open up more to people because only light can shine out darkness, right?

Let us place our worth in the things above and not on the earthly things so that we can continue to be lights of this world.


Growing Pains

J.S. Park: Hospital Chaplain, Skeptical Christian

I have preached in front of three people. I’ve led awkward Bible studies for two or three disinterested young students. I have been close to canceling major events where I expected hundreds, but only a couple dozen showed up. I’ve served in ministries that shrank and fought and panicked and split.

If you’re there right now: don’t get discouraged.

Sometimes God calls you to be faithful even when it’s not fruitful.

He is still doing something amazing. But those breakthroughs only happen when we persist, persevere, and press forward. We love to see instant miracles, but miracles can grow slowly too.

We are tempted by a future where we have finally arrived to the big time — but maybe this is it, this moment, where you are called to be completely engaged and totally present, eye to eye, face to face, heart to heart, with your one or two young…

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1 John 4:18 // “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”

A childhood friend of mine asked me the other day at the airport what makes you scared. I couldn’t really think of anything at that moment, partly because it was early in the morning and partly because I didn’t want to say it right then and there. Not where other people were listening to our conversation so I chose to joke that I was fearless.

I truly believe people can be fearless. And we should be fearless because there is no fear in love. When you trust in God, there is nothing in this world apart from Him that you should fear. And when I talk about fearing God, that is not saying you should be scared to come to God. (another topic for another day because I know what it means to be afraid of coming to Him at times)

What I mean by fearing God = having a deep reverence for His mighty power.

Something that’s been near/dear to me lately is the fear of judgment. Not of God’s judgment Himself which I should be more worried about because He is just and therefore the only judge of our lives…but the judgment of brothers and sisters in Christ who are older than me. (and therefore probably more spiritually mature) I’ve always looked up to those who are farther in their spiritual walks. It definitely makes it a little hard to open up to them when I don’t feel like my spiritual level measures up quite yet.

By nature I’m super easygoing and chill and relaxed and pretty much everything that goes against how I used to try to act in spiritual settings. I’ve noticed people like to pretend to be really intensely spiritual. (idk if that even made sense, unless they really are that spiritual then woooo you go) So when I’m placed in those intensely spiritual situations and meeting after meeting setting, I actually tense up and get kind of uncomfortable.

We all fear not measuring up to how spiritual those who surround us are at some point. This must stop. Human beings are all a bit self-conscious to an extent…I’m not really that self-conscious anymore thankfully but I wouldn’t say I’m not self-conscious at all. I think if we lay our fears down at Jesus’ feet (this conversation goes back to wccc with my lovely roommate G) and stop focusing on ourselves, we won’t fear sharing with our brothers and sisters. We won’t even care how they perceive us if our eyes are on Him. Satan can really break that unity in the body by placing stupid fears and misconceptions that he creates…and most of the times they’re not even true. And I really need to realize that and let Him guide me.

I’ve been committing more in letting the Spirit lead lately instead of taking control of my own life as I did in previous months. And as one of the most stubborn people you’ll ever meet (yes I just admitted it and won’t admit it ever again muahaha) it’s hard for me to lay down my self and let Jesus guide. In this new month I am and it feels so darn refreshing.

Cheers to being (one step closer) to my goal<–> follow me in my journey by reaching out to me this summer. I’d love to see where y’all are at.

p.s. today I’m officially 19.5 whatttttt July went by in a jiffff