Man. It’s weird I haven’t posted on this blog since the summer! And now it’s February already. Time is running faster than I can catch up to.
I’ve learned mucho in these past few months – this past year has been a lot of growing pains, some highs and some lows. If y’all have grown up with me (hi core 6!!) you know how much I dislike birthdays. In general, I love having fun, playing and being a goofball. Yeah I can be serious at times but I’m someone who’s still a kid at heart. Thankfully, God is fair to everyone and gives everyone equal time to be tested in their faith and maturity. Although this past year has been full of its ups and downs, here’s a little taste of what I’ve experienced and some lessons I’ve learned along the way. (a lot of these are tangents – I have warned you)
1. Attitude is everything. Sometimes you can have something thrust upon you that you don’t think you deserve and you can either a) whine about it or b) try your best to calmly accept it with grace. I promise the latter will always help put things into perspective.
2. Your friends aren’t always going to be there for you. And hey that’s okay, because growing up means growing separately at times and that’s a good thing. You can’t expect 110% out of every single friendship either if you don’t physically have the time to give to every single person. It sucks to think you have to prioritize even with friendships these days, but it’s true. You do! And you have to say no with grace sometimes. Choose your company wisely – iron sharpens iron.
3. Speaking of friends, I went into college thinking I could make friends with every single person. Freshman year Janet was a wee little naive because while I definitely have met a lot of people, it’s impossible and draining to be “bffs” with every single person you meet. Nope, not possible. I think I tried that fall/winter quarters freshman year and it was really intensely draining. I do LOVE meeting new people and forming meaning relationships, so please please – get to know me :).
4. There will be days when your patience is tested and you’ll want to watch sad movies and cry. Maybe that’s just me. (just as an aside, I don’t usually watch sad movies and cry for fun – that was a joke heh) And there will be days when you question why God put you on this Earth to go through certain things when you can’t see the purpose in that moment. Take heart though and don’t be discouraged. There’s a purpose and reason for everything.
5. Going along with that, tell people what you’re going through. Or at least a couple of trusted friends/fam/whoever. If you ever hit rock bottom (I mean who hasn’t?), don’t hold it in for too long. I used to not talk about my feelings as much because I thought it wasn’t okay to be okay.
6. Listen, it’s okay to be not okay. I’m still coming to terms with that. You don’t have to put on a show and smile all the time at every moment. Do you probably look better with a smile? (dumb question-everyone looks better when they smile hehe) Be honest with yourself and realize it’s okay to not be okay. I’m not saying that I want you to be sad, but I’m saying you should express your feelings or else it’s not healthy.
7. This is starting to sound like a therapy session. HAHA maybe it is for just my personal therapy. Not blogging for this long (besides on my other blog that I posted twice on this year which I might delete pretty soon) has definitely been something I’m not used to.
8. Do something that scares you every day. Live boldly and take risks. If you don’t take that cycling class that challenges you, try out for a sport that you don’t think you’d be that great at, or go travel abroad to a country you previously knew nothing about and live there for awhile (okay, maybe not everyone agrees with me on this one) you’re probably missing out. No, I’m not telling you to go risk your life but I’m telling you to take some healthy risks once in a while. Because it’s good for you!
9. And who knows, maybe you’ll find people who are equally crazy as you and fall in mad craziness. 😉 HAHA
10. Also here’s one of my favorite quotes right now: “Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels…The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules…And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they push things. They push the human race forward…Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.”
11. One of my dreams one day is to start an educational start-up or be part of creating a system that can provide for those who can’t access education. I’m very passionate about equal access to education and kids because they’re so innocent with a whole of potential and as the next generation, they have the ability to change the world we live in. While I may not necessarily have the most organized study habits or want to be cooped up in a desk with my textbook all day, I do think we’re so blessed to be able to have the opportunities we do here at university. It’s something we should not take for granted.
12. While it may be harder to find time to meet up with people these days, from scheduling/school/life seriously if you want to talk, I’ll still find time. This quarter hasn’t been the easiest academically due to certain circumstances…I’m doing better than before though and do talk to me if you want to know what’s been up! I’ve been trying to sit down more recently instead of moving from place to place. And it’s been working better so PTL!
13. Life is just going to get harder from here on out. That’s reality. While I’m an idealist, I’ve also become more practical since coming to college/adulting/being independent. And with that, you’ll need to manage your time more wisely and not just go out and be all spontaneous like you did when you were a freshman. I do still like to go out though. I promise I’m not as much of a walking contradiction as these jumbled thoughts make me seem like. I can seriously see many sides to situations though.
14. Being 20 feels strange. I don’t think it’s hitting me yet. Like just saying “twenty” instead of “…-teen” like I’ve been saying for the last seven years is taking some getting used to. And phew there are only 6 more things to write. I feel like this whole thing is just a giant tangent! I’m just madly typing my stream of consciousness on a Friday afternoon in the middle of a beautiful space on campus I found. It’s so light outside and I love it, whee!
15. Seek out opportunities that you’ll actually love. If you don’t love what you do and do what you love then what’s the point? There’s no passion. And any single pursuit without passion is dead. I’m not gonna name any subjects but *cough* accounting (woops I said it) is not exactly my forte’. Certain things that involve precision, numbers, analysis and all that drive me nuts. Am I bad at it? No. Do I find passion in it? No. But something God’s been teaching me is this: even if you don’t LOVE something, that doesn’t mean you can’t glorify Him in the process.
16. Sometimes the process of being patient and slowly working your way at mastering something is all that He asks of you.
17. And if you lean on Jesus for support in times of need, in times when a loved one passes away, in times when you feel like the whole world has turned on you and you’re the only one facing what you’re facing, just trust me – you’re not alone. It may feel like you are in that hour/moment, but there are alwaysalways people who truly care and love you with all their heart. And if worst comes to worst, Jesus loves you! YESYES!
18. I can’t wait for the future and what’s to come. The waiting game though, is something I’m learning to appreciate more.
19. So to conclude, I want to say, thank you for being such a supportive reader/friend/fam/whoever you are out there…keep being your lovely self and find ways to bring little joys into your life if you aren’t already doing so.
20. And I hope I will find ways to love on you harder. To keep appreciating whoever you are to me. Because really, I love & appreciate you trulytruly. Cheers to 20.